Every vodka has a point of differentiation. Some are marketing ploys, others are legit; and this lush is thrilled to share one of the coolest offerings she’s come across in quite some time.
Crystal Head Vodka first caught my eye when I was perched at the bar at Kuma’s, downing a Two Hearted double IPA and noshing on a dish so gluttonous (waffle fries topped with BBQ pulled pork may or may not have been involved), I can’t even bring myself to share with you. I was sandwiched between a Kings of Leon-hating guy with silver dollar spacers and a full tattoo sleeve and a 40-year-old suburbanite, trying too hard to fit in with new Chuck Taylor’s. The crowd at Kuma’s is an anthropological study that speaks to the power of food and how it brings people together, but that’s a whole other story and this isn’t an ‘Analyze This’ Cheeky column.
It was at this crossroad that a glass bottle, shaped as a human skull, caught my eye. Above it was a note that read: Not for Public: Don’t Drink. I was intrigued and asked the girl behind the bar what was in the skull.
“Not sure. Something to do with Dan Akroyd.”
“Hmmm…okay. Dan Akroyd? What? Really?”
And so the fascination with the mysterious glass skull bottle began.
The bottle is an accurate glass rendering of a human skull and was designed with the utmost attention to the symbolic nature of the skeleton. For those who have seen Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, this crystal skull may look familiar. It is. Both are based on a similar legend:
Thousands of years ago, thirteen Crystal Heads were scattered across the earth. Their workmanship is perfect: they contain no tool marks and have been cut against the natural axis of the crystal, defying the laws of physics. Some say they’re artifacts from the lost civilization of Atlantis, others claim that they date back to the Mayans, and there have been rumors that the skulls were created by a higher intelligence.
Brought together, the Crystal Heads are said to have vast knowledge and enlightenment capable of unlocking our most enigmatic ancient mysteries. Alone, each is believed to house radiant psychic energy, which has magical powers and healing properties.
According to the videos on the Crystal Head website, Dan Akroyd claims that he’s always been interested in the supernatural and legends of a higher power, so he teamed up with Milan glass manufacturer, Bruni Glass, and worked with Diamond Estates Wine & Spirits (Akroyd is part owner) to produce a pure spirit that has been quadruple distilled through Herkimer diamonds. Two things are clear: one, Crystal Head Vodka is smooth and balanced; and two, there’s more to Dan Akroyd than Blues Brothers and Ghostbuster fame. He’s also a reputable wine maker with his Dan Akroyd Winery. We love it.
You can find Crystal Head Vodka at Binny’s and Sam’s locations in Chicago, but don’t expect to find it in local bars or lounges just yet. It’s a selective spirit, so just keep an eye out for it next time you’re jockeying for a position at Kuma’s.
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